‘The Secret of Us’
A Thai GL series, The Secret of Us, has me hooked! In fact, its original novel version was much more intense and heated, but the TV show toned it down and censored many scenes, perhaps because it’s broadcast on the national television channel in their country. For me, it’s not just the story of FahLada and Earn (the characters) reuniting on-screen, but the undeniable chemistry between Ling and Orm (the two beautiful ladies who play as protagonists) that shines even stronger off-screen. It’s like watching a beautiful real-life love story unfold!
I’m a ’90s kid, and a little bit older than Ling. Let me start my piece by appreciating that Orm possesses a level of maturity that I definitely lacked at her age. I’d like to explain why I claim that while recounting my own story of immature love.
For every young lady — regardless of sexual orientation — we all should be blessed with someone like Ling in our lives. A wise, nurturing, and loving presence, a guiding light, a senior sister, a goddess in our midst. Fortunately, I had someone like that back in the 2010s. Let’s say she was my Ling. Just like Ling being Orm’s first kiss, my Ling was my first kiss too. It’s one of many connections that resonates deeply with LingOrm.
My Ling said that I was the divine gift that God sent for her. But for me, she herself was like a Goddess: perfect, breathtakingly beautiful, powerful, protective, patient, calm and composed, caring, understanding, highly intelligent, professional, and all the nice adjectives.
[A Glimpse Back: My Love Story]
May I share a bit of my story first? I think you will understand why I feel related to LingOrm on a personal level.
(In later parts of my letter, after my story, I will directly talk more about Orm, Ling, LingOrm, TSOU, and my call for action for equality and representation.)
So, when I was around Orm’s age, someone like Ling confessed that she loved me. Just like Ling and Orm, we worked together then. I still remember the way she looked — her eyes held a depth of genuine affection, filled with earnest sincerity and a flicker of nervousness and vulnerability, like a student awaiting exam results. It was a stark contrast to her usual composed demeanor. I knew deep down that I loved her too, but something held my tongue from speaking the words aloud. (Not that I was introverted or shy — I was actually quite outspoken on other issues.)
One big reason for my hesitation was that I felt I didn’t deserve her; someone like her seemed far above everyone else, including me. As I said, she is breathtakingly beautiful and powerful. Her beauty was undeniable, a force that left anyone smitten at first sight. A swarm of powerful suitors — political figures, financiers, media moguls, entertainment celebrities — surrounded her. All of them are men, all wealthier, more accomplished, smoother, and older than me. Yet, whenever they tried to contact her, she’d hand me her phone, letting me decide. She would readily show me their messages. It was a subtle way of demonstrating her disinterest in them, her faith in my judgment, and her loyalty to me. Despite their relentless pursuit, none of it seemed to faze her. In fact, she was frustrated with the endless stream of admirers and their constant maneuvering for her attention. She was tired of always having to politely reject. I have seen many people who crave the attention of powerful men, and those who seek marriage, wealth, success, power, security, and validation through powerful influential men. She wasn’t someone like that. Socioeconomic status was never her goal in life; it was beneath her. That made her even more special in my eyes — an extraordinary, truly independent, truly respect-worthy, otherworldly woman in a world obsessed with shallow pursuits.
Okay, so back on track! where were we? Right, why was I so utterly speechless when she confessed her love for me? Truth is, I was completely out of my league. This dazzling woman who could have anyone she wanted, confessing her love to me? It felt surreal, and frankly, a little terrifying.
Another huge reason was that it seemed I wasn’t fully ready to accept myself as a lesbian and felt hesitant about my sexual orientation identity in our outdated heteronormative society. I think I didn’t like the label — ‘lesbian’. It seemed I had internalized homophobia — the absorption of heteronormative social norms of our stupid patriarchal world — without realizing it. Her love felt like a spotlight on everything I was hiding from myself. The truth was, I wasn’t just afraid of society — I was afraid of my own reflection. Coming to terms with who I truly am felt like a daunting mountain to climb. Before I could accept her, I needed to accept myself first. Sadly, I wasn’t strong enough to do that at that time.
My goddess was an understanding person. A knowing smile played on her lips, and in that silent affirmation, there was a silent acceptance. She knew I loved her too. We became together without me declaring “I love you” to her.
Like Ling’s character Dr. Fahlada, my Ling possessed an almost sacred reverence for hygiene and cleanliness, usually feeling disgusted and distressed by any level of uncleanliness around her. Yet, even if the world seemed perpetually troubled by its imperfections, I was the only exception she never felt repelled by.
Back then, I didn’t know how to fully accept myself, how to listen to her and understand what she truly meant, how to communicate effectively, how to value her love and our love, how to prioritize her, how to put love first before ego and interests, how to maintain a relationship, how to behave, what to do with adult matters, how to recognize her needs, how to fulfill them emotionally, mentally and physically, how to be a responsible girlfriend, how to nurture togetherness, how to secure our bond, how to take care of her, how to protect her, how to balance work-life-love, how to navigate office politics, how to be flexible, and so on. I was a mess of emotions.
Despite my deep affection for her, a part of me craved some outward validation. Perhaps, seeing her surrounded by admirers sparked a childish possessiveness in me. I confess, there was a part of me that enjoyed making her jealous of me too. The thought of her feeling even a flicker of jealousy felt… intoxicating. Ah, my stupidity and insecurities! I flirted with others in front of her. I sometimes ignore her. Witnessing a flicker of jealousy and sadness cloud her eyes when I ignored her sent a jolt through me. It was a petty and childish thrill, a hollow victory that paled in comparison to the real connection I craved with her. In that little moment, I felt a surge of strange pride more intense than winning elections, washed over me, only to be eclipsed by the guilt of hurting the one person I truly cared about. But I still kept up the charade, pretending indifference. I pretended to be aloof while I craved her attention so much. It was foolish, a childish test. I was insecure, ignorant, and arrogant. I acted like a self-centered spoiled brat. So, my insecurities made her feel insecure and uncertain about our love. Reflecting on it now, I wouldn’t have liked myself if I were in her position. Let’s just say, I wasn’t equipped for the complexities of love, relationships, life, work, adulthood, and society at that time of my life. As a result, I lost someone special when I was Orm’s age. Big oof on my part.
I still remember that she’s incredibly attentive and nurturing, always anticipating what I need, and never putting her own needs before mine. Whether it’s her blowing the heat off my coffee and tea to the perfect lukewarm temperature (because she’s afraid it will burn my tongue if it’s too hot), appearing with steaming plates of delicious food before my stomach even rumbles, having napkins or tissues at the ready in her hand whenever I eat, or having medicine ready before I even sniffle, along with something sweet to chase away the bitter taste, she makes sure I feel loved and cared for in every detailed way. Remarkably observant, she notices every little change in my mood, even the smallest things that might affect me. Even when she’s feeling unwell, she’ll come to the office because she can’t bear the thought of leaving me alone without her. Her hand always found mine in a comforting clasp, and throughout the day, I was showered with her kisses, reassuring hugs, soothing caresses, or her fingers playfully tracing patterns on my skin. She was always ready to tend to my every need with gentle affection. Sending me home safe after a long day is just another act of her unwavering care, creating a haven of security, comfort, and love around me. I was the password to her everything; she said it was the symbol of her complete belonging to me, her trust, and her openness, and that I owned her. Yet, respecting privacy as I do, I never felt the need to look at her things. She filled me with a sense of being cherished, trusted, and valued. Having her in my life made me feel incredibly lucky and cherished. But, foolishly, I took her for granted. I was only on the receiving end of love and not good at giving it in return or showing it.
Only years later, the realization crashed down — losing her was, without a doubt, the greatest loss and deepest regret of my entire life. It was a wake-up call, forcing me to confront my fears and value genuine connections. If only I understood things as I do now back then, if only I was in my better version, I suppose we would still be together. Unfortunately, there’s no time travel machine for me to go back and guide my younger self to correct what went wrong back then. Years later, even though I have found new loves and been in new relationships (I later fully accepted myself as a lesbian) after she moved thousands of miles away to another country, she remains the most powerful, unforgettable love of my life. I believe she will forever be. (I don’t mean to insult all the love I have had in my other relationships, though.) Perhaps, if fate allows, our paths will cross again. This time, I wouldn’t let the chance slip away. I will choose her for real, fight for our future together, cherish and protect her always.
[Orm]
So, seeing Orm now, I feel genuinely happy that she is more mature and open-minded than I was at her age, even though she still displays a pure, youthful innocence, which is a good thing as well. When I was her age, I was even less mature than she is now. Orm isn’t doing the wrong things that I did at her age. Seeing her unafraid to display her emotions is truly inspiring. She wears her heart on her sleeve, a refreshing honesty that brings a breath of fresh air. Whenever she feels cared for, praised, loved, etc, her face lights up with pure joy, her eyes sparkling with delight, radiating contentment. (For example, like when Ling playfully teased about the sensitivity around her ear. A radiant, adorably proud smile bloomed across Orm’s face, overflowing with uncontainable pride and happiness.) I can sometimes glimpse Orm’s little moments of sadness when her moves aren’t reciprocated or she feels kinda ignored, but within seconds, she still tries to lift her spirits, chooses kindness, and keeps persevering. She is honest with her feelings and chooses to be cheerful. When I was her age, if I felt even the slightest neglect while giving someone attention and affection, I would stop giving them, coldly ignore them, or sulk stubbornly, and open the door to hell for them. But Orm is more understanding and patient than I was. That’s how I can see she is more caring, affectionate, courageous, and considerate than I was. Such courage and good nature are treasures we should all hold dear. Orm deserves all the love and care.
In light of my own experiences, I sincerely hope LingOrm won’t face the same social conflicts I did stemming from a mismatch between their inner self and the pressure to conform to patriarchal societal norms. I hope LingOrm can handle things better than we did back then. I hope little Orm understands the adult world better than I did. I hope she knows that those older than us can still be a baby at heart. (Even the goddess needs a little pampering, even the most strong and capable people can hold onto a childlike wonder within. They need our utmost indulgence, care, and most importantly, understanding. Perhaps even more than indulgence or care, what they truly need is our unwavering understanding.) I hope she can navigate life, love, and work better than I did and with more grace than I was. I truly wish her all the best.
[Ling]
Now, let me turn toward Ling, who resembles the Thai version of the love I lost. At this moment, Ling is like a powerful bewitching flower blossoming to its fullest, embodying the best version of herself. Ling is electrifying.
Since I visited Thailand, I’ve come across a couple of Ling’s previous works. I acknowledge their portrayal of her natural beauty. No matter what work she does, her beauty is remarkable. But something was missing in her past portrayals. They lacked this powerful spark, magical allure, unique energy, and certain dynamism that are now evident in her current leading role in TSOU.
Perhaps because other works were mainly patriarchal, male-dominated heteronormative stories. The previous stories showcased her beauty, charisma, cuteness, sensual appeal, and romance. But none achieved the same level of love, success, liveliness, magnetic attraction, and global recognition and support as her current one.
Her current leading character allows Ling to shine brilliantly, captivating the audience like never before. Now is a cornerstone moment for Ling’s career, a foundation upon which she will build even greater success ahead. With more opportunities for leading roles like this, I believe that she has the power to continue to be even more successful. Ling’s potential to become a major star is undeniable.
It’s not the role itself alone, it’s the magic of LingOrm that’s brought out this newfound dynamism in her. Her pairing with Orm is what makes her breakthrough and more captivating in our hearts.
In real-life events outside of the TV series, there are too many beautiful things that can’t be overlooked. Whenever Ling gives Orm a knowing look, a gentle nod of approval, a satisfied smile playing on her lips, or comes to the rescue to subtly redirect the conversation, offering her hand, they remind me of the comforting understanding and unspoken connection I found and lost in the past. Ling reminds me of the love I once knew, a familiar warmth rekindled in my heart with every gesture, every touch.
Ling embodies the ideal girlfriend/wifey material and is the irresistible leading sapphic character of our time. I’m not sure which I want more: to be like Ling or to be with Ling. I find myself wanting both!
(Ling, I apologize that it wasn’t an appropriate way to express my appreciation and for wanting to worship you as a goddess. You reminded me of someone special I’ve had in my life. Likewise, you probably have someone special in your heart too. So, since it can’t be in this life, let’s meet up in the next one, okay? )
Ahem!
Well, from now on, I’ll only love Ling sincerely and wish wholeheartedly for the LingOrm duo’s happiness together.
[LingOrm and TSOU]
FahLada and Earn in The Secret of Us (TSOU) are confident in their sexual identities; their story isn’t about struggling to come to terms with oneself. That’s refreshing for me. I love that about it. Aside from family interference, their relationship is a natural, genuine one, marked by both challenges and intimacy between two people. It represents Love Is Love.
Born in the ’90s, and growing up in the 2000s and 2010s, positive, beautiful, and authentic portrayals of happy, committed Sapphic relationships were a rarity. Stories did exist, some of them are my favorite, but they often felt constrained by the prevailing patriarchal structures and societal hierarchies that oppressed LGBTQ+ identities. Negative portrayals, let alone demonization, were far too common. So, seeing The Secret of Us (TSOU) is such a progressive step.
Seeing Orm/Earn display courage and a deep understanding of herself and her emotions, both on and off screen, is something I struggled with at her age. Seeing #LingOrm with their adorable, affectionate, and beautiful closeness — beyond their roles as Fahlada and Earn in TSOU — fills me with a sense of relatability and reminiscence for the one who got away.
The collaboration of these two ladies — LingOrm — is a resounding success. LingOrm’s undeniable chemistry, amplified by cohesive and effective promotional activities, leaves a captivating and lasting impact on viewers, especially within our sapphic community of all generations globally. I admire them individually as well as a couple. Together, their contrasting personalities and different energies complement each other perfectly, compensating for each other’s shortcomings, filling in what the other lacks, and creating a harmonious balance. Like puzzle pieces, they fill in the gaps for each other. Ling’s tranquility is balanced by Orm’s bustle, and vice versa; Orm’s nervous hyperactivity is tempered by Ling’s powerful serenity. Ling’s reserved temperament enhances Orm’s playful character, and vice versa; Orm’s dynamism balances Ling’s contemplative demeanor. Nothing could be better than this combination. Like a magical scale, one balances the other’s extremes, fostering mutual growth. This kind of opposite energies prevent any sense of monotony.
For example, if two people have similar energy and personalities, their relationship can initially be calm and harmonious, akin to still water. However, according to some of my experiences, over time, it probably becomes monotonous, leading to boredom in the long run. In contrast, opposing energies like LingOrm can clash or be tiresome to each other initially, but if they embrace their differences, over time it can keep their relationship dynamic and engaging — maintaining a balanced and colorful harmony. This combination is like experiencing all in one, both fire and ice, heaven and hell, with also a captivating equilibrium in between as well. Life is infinitely richer and more fulfilling when adorned with a spectrum of colors and diverse tastes, wouldn’t you agree? Here LingOrm’s natural alignment is what I consider perfect. The blending of their personalities, both in their characters on the show and in other aspects of their lives or careers, reflects seamlessly. Their performances are not just limited to their show but extend into their broader professional or personal identities. This dynamic synergy enhances their performances, creating a captivating and powerful presence that neither could achieve alone. Their magnetic chemistry is unmistakable, their combined talents and beauties achieving a synergy that surpasses their individual performances in other works. Now, the LingOrm ship is sailing as a positive metaphor for their artistic blossoming, while symbolizing the progress and representation of the Asian sapphic community on a global scale.
As I mentioned earlier, I fall in love with them not just for their on-screen love, but also for their off-screen interactions that seem like a real-life connection. The viral household name is LingOrm, not FahLadaEarn, right? They are more than their show characters; we see them as themselves. Maybe it’s just promotional activities or ‘fan services,’ as people say, but for me, the beautiful, loving affection that Ling and Orm show each other and us is hard to resist, especially because it reminds me of a love I once had.
Moreover, the progress of Thai society in supporting marriage equality gives me hope for future generations. However, many Asian societies — especially in East Asia, Korea, Japan, and China — are still largely patriarchal, misogynistic, and homophobic, with very limited tolerance for LGBTQ+ communities. It’s our responsibility to ensure that new generations grow up in a world that is free, equal, and just, with greater acceptance and understanding — something I wish I had experienced back then. I also want to thank the creators of TSOU, which not only entertains but also inspires. LingOrm and TSOU give me hope for the future of LGBTQ+ representation.
[LGBTQ+ inclusion and representation]
Here, I demand equal rights in the film industry for Sapphic stories and for Sapphic actresses to portray authentic characters and represent our community. While TSOU is commendable for its inclusive casting and genuine representation of LGBTQ+ actresses in both lead and supporting roles + the director, the broader entertainment industry still significantly falls short in this regard. This is a call for genuine representation across all films, series, and multimedia. The traditionally patriarchal, heteronormative, straight-dominated film industry has a responsibility to actively seek out Sapphic actresses for Sapphic roles. Furthermore, those Sapphic actresses deserve the equal opportunity to lead as protagonists. The same goes for the entire LGBTQ+ community.
While beautiful actors and actresses playing LGBTQ+ roles and doing fan services look pleasing to the eyes and hearts, unfortunately, the inconsistency between the fan services and the actors’ real-life heteronormative relationships can be a source of heartbreak for the members of the LGBTQ+ community. We have been burned before, right? The LGBTQ+ fans often get invested in “shipping” LGBTQ+ love and fan services. This can lead to heartbreak when the actors themselves date outside the community, shattering the illusion of a real-life couple and the joy of seeing a fictional representation come to life. While seeing LGBTQ+ characters on screen is important, some fans feel the sting of misrepresentation when straight actors portray these roles. The off-screen relationships can sometimes undermine the authenticity of the on-screen love story. That’s why even when it is a super-shippable couple, some fans now put up their walls and actively resist shipping the couple, despite the undeniable chemistry between the duo. While it is the respect for personal freedom in real life, it’s actually a way to protect their hearts from potential disappointment. It’s all about self-preservation and protecting our fragile little hearts!
(I still can’t stop myself from falling for LingOrm and shipping them though. I willingly succumbed to the LingOrm fever! It’s burning hotter than COVID-19 ever could! This is contagious, and things are just heating up! If my lost love sees me being like this, she’ll think I’m still helplessly childish. Part of me aches to share this geeky excitement with her.)
Anyway, seeing solidarity, friendship, sisterhood, and the whole spectrum of love including romantic love, between women, like in LingOrm society — is the greatest beauty to witness on earth. It serves as a powerful testament to the unique bond we share. It’s a reminder of the powerful solidarity that can exist among women.
All right, my letter is a bit long already. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to dust off my old photo folders and dig out memories again. Apparently, someone wants their emotional baggage back.
Wishing LingOrm and the entire LGBTQ+ community further success, safety, and an abundance of opportunities and resources. May your future seasons be filled with even more heartwarming moments and less existential angst (unless it’s for comedic purposes, of course). May happiness and fulfillment follow you in all your endeavors!
May love and equality always prevail!
With love,
a daughter of Sappho,
from the island of Lesbos.
